In the midst of the mist lies a mystery that only The Mythical Mr. Boo can solve. Nothing is more mystical, more foggy, and more less than love, so in matters of the heart I turn to him, because he isn’t real.

“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns…”

“I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it…”

“A great gift would be a map full of evacuation routes for the city, subtly tell…”

“The other day I tried to design a finish line, but I didn’t know where to start…”