Inside my skull is a turtle shell. Inside the turtle shell is a rabbit. And inside the rabbit, all my tasty thoughts constantly stew.

“Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get emp…”

“In bed, I could climb in, if you ever rest. Then I could mount you like Everest.”

“A brick could have been used as a father figure in place of my dad when I was g…”

“When I was a kid, I’d leave my door cracked with a piece of lint on top, and if…”