It’s a cliché to say that men think with their penises. But it’s a fact. And penises are notoriously stupid. My penis, for example, probably only has an IQ of 144, or about 12 times its length in inches when limp.

“I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it lik…”

“It’s hard to hear over the racket of gunfire. Politicians want to talk about wa…”

“They should make suitcases shaped like human bodies, for discretely transportin…”

“In high school I barely made the rodeo team. But I wasn’t good enough to start,…”