It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.

“A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t…”

“Why fly in a space ship when you can just park it in my driveway? I’ll even mov…”

“I want to have five or six wives, and a few dozen sheep, all for my pleasure. I…”

“I’m glad I don’t have any foreskin, because at a nude beach I’d feel overdresse…”