It’s hard to believe an eight-foot tall man can come out of a tight vagina. Obviously, mothers of really tall men must have been loose whores.

“I wish to report an attempted murder—on my clone. Someone tried to drink my sem…”

“I made a t-shirt that says, "Today's my birthday" on it, so that I can ask for …”

“I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add anot…”

“He offered to pay me in agriculture, and I said I didn’t want that, I want mone…”