I’ve always wanted to send a message in a bottle, with my message saying something like, “Don’t litter.

“I want to create a 3-4 deal—buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for an…”

“A blanket could be used as a stool softener. Or it could also be used to soften…”

“I’m building a building from scratch, and I’m making it out of a giant itch.”

“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when…”