I’ve got a sizeable retirement nest egg. It’s an ostrich egg, and it’s going to make an omelet so big that it’ll produce enough leftovers for decades.


“A brick could be used as a cock block. 
”

“I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the…”

“Love is always there when you don’t need it, and when you need it and it’s not …”

“I laced up my sneakers, but not with the intention to sneak around. I was just …”