I’ve got better things to think about than thoughtlessness.

“His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. …”

“Question for your life: If Ted Kennedy made it to heaven, do you think he’s ple…”

“I’ll flick a penny to the dirt, and if I see one on the ground I won’t pick it …”

“In complete silence you can’t hear a thing. Just ask a deaf person—but ask them…”