I’ve got semen stains on my shirt, and spaghetti stains on my underwear. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“She had two leaves for feat. Maple, I think. She was flat-footed and always rea…”

“If I were to assign a color combination to my love for you, it would be purple …”

“A blanket could be considered part of performance art, if you’re inconsiderate …”

“I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground. Especially if that hole is hairy…”