I've never had cyber sex. My penis won't fit in the USB port. . . at least not without lots of lubrication.

“I bowl like I masturbate: with two hands. I should run for Congress.”

“You might think there is nothing more patriotic than dying for your country, bu…”

“What do you call a schooner in a wine glass? Port.”

“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. …”