Keep your eyes open, especially if you’re wearing a blindfold while driving. Closing your eyes in that situation could be dangerous.

“I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground. Especially if that hole is hairy…”

“I once watched several criminals engage in an organized argument, while an audi…”

“If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this …”

“In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though …”