Last night as I was driving home, I ran over a guy in a wheelchair. But it’s OK—he was already paralyzed.

“The only time I like traffic lights turning yellow or red is in the fall.”

“I’m 6’3”, but you would think I was Napoleon’s height because I’m slouched over…”

“I make love like a balloon, and fortunately, my lover is a blow up doll.”

“The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pa…”