Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.

“I want to hire someone to stand outside my door and knock three times, with eac…”

“I'd like to see a flag made not out of stars and stripes, but rather fingers an…”

“Everyone in the world ages at exactly the same rate and time. We’re all getting…”

“I am the melted cheese of desire. Please, feel free to double dip.”