Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.


“The diner was more twiner than Twain, and I found a mustache in my soup. Maybe …”

“Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need …”

“Drought is the best thing that ever happened to my lawn. And my beard.”

“Love isn’t the last thing on my mind. The last thing on my mind is my skull.”