Life insurance is a dying industry.

“We were in love. When I say we, I don’t mean her and I. I mean me and my clone …”

“I like to feel like just one of the guys. Especially when I hang out with the g…”

“I wore a suit to the interview—a bathing suit. I didn’t get the job as a lifegu…”

“I observe President’s Day. I observe it with my binoculars.”