Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.

“Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-…”

“Your penis is a whistle. My penis is a flute. And I’ve got a tromboner for your…”

“A brick could be held in one hand, and a stack of dollar bills in the other, to…”

“One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides.”