Love doesn’t spend its time watering your plants. But it might bubblegum swank monkey mouth with you—twice.

“On my recent trip to Washington DC, I wore a hat I made out of a tin funnel tha…”

“I watched a bowl of fruit on the table remain motionless. Just another example …”

“I put the “org” in organic. I also put it in orgasm and orgy.”

“We were wearing diapers at the same time. We didn’t grow up together, however. …”