Love is like a rolling rock—with wheels. And legs, too! But no breaks or shoes or anal lubrication.

“I wear a mustache, both as a disguise—and as a cooter tickler.”

“I’ll give you a treat to get in your cage. I’m rewarding you for punishing you.…”

“Her name was Janice, but I called her Jan because she was born in December—just…”

“-I have this friend—you don’t know him—but—
-Is his name Molloway?
-No.
-Oh. I …”