Love is more powerful than any gun. Still, I’d recommend wearing a bulletproof vest.

“My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee…”

“I want to assure you, I’m not that kind of pervert. But don’t worry, goat lady,…”

“It’s a new subject to me, and I’m just starting to get confused. The middle is …”

“My grandpa died yesterday. I ought to know, because I shot him. So come, join m…”