Love is patient and love is kind. Damn! Why’d it have to be the two qualities I wasn’t born with?

“I am the lingering blinker clicking rhythmically long after the dotted line has…”

“I put the “sing” in single. But only when I’m in the shower.”

“I need to dig a hole the size of the Grand Canyon to bury all of my problems.”

“I am greedy with water. I made your apology tea dry. I’m sorry. You might try s…”