Love reminds me of when I was six and had a pet goldfish named “Silverbird” that I carried around the house, petting it like a cat. Needless to say it died. So I ate it.

“I have a bedroom rug that I feed. It’s not very flat, and it meows when I step …”

“The idea of a blind date scares me. But a deaf date would be great.”

“Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe.”

“This is my logo for Flaming Flamingo”