Love tip # 29: Increase your chances of getting to second date by not having stinky garlic breath during the end of the first date. Especially if you’re dating a vampire.

“The earliest I’ve ever been late is on time.”

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“I can’t offer you anything to drink, but I can offer you an excuse. Would you l…”

“God created the heavens, while the devil created doubt. Here is a short list of…”