Loyalty is for the dogs. Count me among the cats. And count me twice—once for each of my faces.

“I’m hungry but I won’t order 18 tubs of ketchup and a spoon. No, I’ll order it …”

“I put the “org” in organic. I also put it in orgasm and orgy.”

“There are few things in this world I have left to hang on to, and one of them i…”

“At five in the morning, I was half asleep. The whole left side of my body was t…”