Ma’am, I can take either you or your purse, but I can’t take both. And honestly, I’d rather take your purse.

“American civilization isn’t advancing as fast as our military is. The only prob…”

“A preacher’s job is preaching. So how come he gets to work on the day of rest?”

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt…”

“I’m hoping my routine will break me out of my rut. If I keep spinning my wheels…”