Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your hand.

“When tragedy hits close to home, like your neighbor’s house, it really makes yo…”

“Meet the Robinsoons—but meet them later.”

“I could only read the word because of the discoloration on the wall from the ac…”

“I had a hot date last night. Things were going well so I took her back to her h…”