Mouths are longer than they are wide, to ensure words don’t come out sideways. Even the word “sideways” comes out straight.

“A great gift would be a cheap pen, mounted on a wooden plaque, with the accompa…”

“I have a cigarette for a penis. Except when I get sexually aroused it turns int…”

“The Federal Reserve was created after a 1913 meeting in Jekyll Island, Ga that …”

“Our romance lasted a few months. I was so deflated the day I lost my air pump a…”