Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.

“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you a…”

“I call my thumb Napoleon, because I rarely ever lose a thumb war. Also because …”

“In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them…”

“Sometimes it’s not about selling my handmade crafts. Sometimes it’s about givin…”