My balls dangle so low that I need a rake to scratch them. It also comes in handy when raking up all the leaves on my scrotum.

“A drunk can't follow a line of reasoning, even if it is a double white line.”

“Like the Grand Canyon, I care deeply. Hop on a donkey and you’ll see how deeply…”

“I once had a dream about a woman, and the next day she died. I stopped sleeping…”

“A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole.
”