My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down from asking her.

“I need your compliments to feed my ego, because it’s bored of mac and cheese. A…”

“Thank God I have enough skin to cover my entire body. But just barely. If my pe…”

“When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks. Is that love? I d…”

“After I had my computer about a month, I finally figured out how to turn it on.…”