My day starts like a regular guy’s. I wake up, drink raw eggs, run around Philadelphia, and punch raw slabs of meat. Wait, that’s not my story—that’s Rocky’s. I get us confused all the time.

“A brick could be strapped to the back of a pet gerbil, to teach it how to swim.…”

“I have a fist like a brick, but I don’t punch through walls—I build them and be…”

“What is life without death? That's like asking what is peanut butter without je…”

“He said he didn’t think he is good, but you can tell that secretly he thinks he…”