My ex girlfriend said she’d never cheat on me. Well, she did—with an accountant. Now I owe money to the IRS.

“Grandpa had a good life, up until the day we slaughtered him and ate him. Hones…”

“I think I just inhaled a cloud shaped like the ghost of my grandpa, and all I h…”

“I want to do something different, and make a difference in people’s lives. If e…”

“I’ll tell myself whatever I need to hear to stop listening.”