My favorite tree is the Joshua tree, which is named after me. Well, it will be, once I change my name to Joshua.

“If you’re a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food.”

“A brick could be locked in a safe, because nobody will try to steal it there.
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“I worked with a sketch artist, but I was driving fast when I saw the suspect, s…”

“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the s…”