My fur coat doesn’t need to be dry cleaned, because it’s self-cleaning. It’s constantly licking its fur to keep itself clean. Beats walking through a car wash, like I used to do when I worked for Joe Namath.

“Even a broken mirror isn’t broken if it allows you to see who you really are—cr…”

“And benefits? Just getting to breathe the same air as the distinguished guests …”

“If I only ate popsicles, I wonder if I’d rather freeze or starve to death. Free…”

“As a thinker, and most writers would consider themselves thinkers, your competi…”