My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She’s tied up in the trunk this very moment.

“I saw her from afar. The game was afoot. I had astiffy.”

“Bricks, bricks, and bricks could be given away at the Olympics, instead of gold…”

“I don’t think I’d come off well on TV. But if you ever see me on, my advice is …”

“An empty room holds nothing but memories. At least it would, if I didn’t just f…”