My grandpa passed a few days ago. But I’m not sad. He was only driving 20 miles an hour, so I’m sure I’ll catch up to him.

“If I had a half, I’d split it in half and share it with you. That’s love. Then …”

“Art is like a kite with an airplane propeller, OK? Artists are like people who …”

“My phone died, so I cremated it along with my grandpa. Well, he was taking up t…”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.
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