My heart beats to the rhythm of the windshield wipers. I’d better never drive in the desert, unless I want to die. Our relationship has one too many cactuses in it to be deserving of my love.

“To not feel like such a “third wheel,” I rode my tricycle to the restaurant whe…”

“I once had a professor who could condense an entire lecture into a can of froze…”

“A brick could be used to paint a mural of your favorite politician. It doesn’t …”

“Boys will be boys. Well, some boys will be girls.”