My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.

“It is with great sadness that I blow my nose.”

“Love is the sound of footsteps behind you in a dark hallway. Why does it seem l…”

“A door shaped like a vagina is more inviting. Sure, I’ll come in, but not slouc…”

“I’ll write something that’s 111% true. It’ll be so true that it’ll be 100% fals…”