My last phone call was totally uncalled for. Well, not totally. More like 99.88% uncalled for.

“Mrs. Indianapolis was in town again. She looked like a can of Sprite in her gre…”

“Get off the scale, and get out of my weigh.”

“We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were …”

“Being vulgar to be funny is a crutch, and I prefer wheelchairs.”