My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank it all.

“I’ll dine on apple flesh and cinnamon, while feeding you one line after another…”

“Someone, probably Orafoura, once asked me what’s my favorite part of love, and …”

“I let wine breathe. And I hold my breathe, so it can get all the air.”

“I wash my hands twice in the bathroom—once before I touch my penis, and once ag…”