My love is made out of three things: the dawn, the sunrise, and redundancy. I poured you two glasses, which can easily and efficiently be drunk out of one cup.

“If I shake your hand, and then jack off, it’s as if you gave me an indirect han…”

“I made love to a woman who didn’t exist, and I can’t remember how it didn’t fee…”

“Would you mind terribly if instead of serving desert, I masturbated quietly at …”

“I've eaten cat food before. Of course, the menu listed it as "Chicken Lo Mein.”