My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.

“I’m as thirsty as an elephant penis in the snow. I’m ready to love again.”

“Mr. Best spent so much time eating grass that he began to think he was a cow. B…”

“The government wants to be aware of all your movements—probably including your …”

“The only reason I didn’t feel like a complete fool was because the failure left…”