My name is Al, but it’s not Al Falfa. You can’t eat me, damnit. At least not legally.

“Some people say I look like my mom, while others say I look more like my dad. I…”

“A brick could be used to help America make money. Trust me, this is smarter tha…”

“Sunburns are so embarrassing that they always make me blush all over.”

“I can’t marry a bisexual woman, because she might be having an affair with the …”