My name is Couch Choochoo, and I’m here to train you.

“It’s a shiny tin can of a day, bright but gray. Welcome to one of Florida’s two…”

“I don’t like it when I have guests over and my girlfriend doesn’t wear pants an…”

“I bought a zoo, which is funny, because I own the very place that should own me.”

“With sex, I’d recommend practicing a lot. But remember, have fun with it. After…”