My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.

“I want a piece of apple pie so large I could wedge a For Sale sign in it and ma…”

“I want to be my own wedding singer at my own wedding. But first I’ll have to au…”

“The phrase “The cat’s out of the bag” tells that a secret’s been exposed to the…”

“Trying to stay within my budget, I bought napkins instead of underwear. They’re…”