My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while I masturbate.

“I don’t like to brag or frighten, but I’ve got a black belt. And a brown one, w…”

“I'm so excited. I just bought a new file cabinet, some manila folders, some sti…”

“Bio I never got around to using: Jarod is a best-selling author reader. He has …”

“A blanket could be used as a makeshift trampoline, to attract midgets to your p…”