My uncle's a big drinker. In fact, he just got a liver transplant. They replaced it with a bottle of whiskey.

“I want to save the environment. I like being green as much as the next Smurf.”

“When I saw her naked, my penis went from hash brown to French fry.
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“I’m wearing the costume of a customer, and it smells cheap. Can you pass me the…”

“A brick could be affixed to the collar of my shirt, because I’ve already got th…”