My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the air masturbation gesture.

“I hung the plaque on the wall, right next to the floss.”

“You get used to success and you start to expect it—and that’s when you fail. Lu…”

“I talk about talking like I listen to listening—in a room with mirrored walls t…”

“My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may…”