My wife told me she’d meet me at the mall, and I said, “Don’t be silly. We’ve already met. What, do you think I’d marry a stranger?

“To be surrounded by sixty people who make your life miserable is to be at a fam…”

“Sometimes I feel I’m just doing a poor impression of a person. Maybe I feel thi…”

“I’m a neat person (interesting), but I’m not a neat person (organized).”

“Women want me, and men want to be me. And by me I mean Ryan Gosling.”