Necessity is the mother of invention. She’s also my mother, though Invention and I have different dads.

“I’m reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the world’s first steam-powered…”

“Spain is 4/5ths pain and 1/5th S. I drank that fifth, and I loved S.”

“Mrs. Indianapolis was in town again. She looked like a can of Sprite in her gre…”

“I think the best punishment for a misbehaving child is to strap them to a chair…”