Never, ever say the dildo accidentally turned itself on.

“It’s not that I want to get mar­ried. I ad­mire guys who can com­mit to a tat­t…”

“These are Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. I am Tyler's mouth. I am Tyler'…”

“Deliver me from Swedish furniture.Deliver me from clever art.And the phone rang…”

“They placed their bets with such self righteous bravado, but I’m the one who lo…”